There exists a thin sheet of reflective laminate that for its protection has paired itself with a pane of clear glass. Every morning, promptly after I arise, I encounter the contraption in the bathroom on my way to piss away the restlessness that had imposed its will upon those hours where I should have been sleeping.
I leave the light off as I conduct my business; no need to risk awakening my peaceful family. Myself leers after me in the dark, casting shadows and angles with intentions of drawing me more near to its truth. Eventually I will tangle with you again Mirror. For the fleeting moment I will escape you in the darkness.
But now the twilight ruins my serenity as it encroaches through the frosted veil of the privacy enabling window, bringing me eye to eye with the very person I’ve been trying to avoid. My reflected eyes are grey, because the crystal blue eyes that all the girls used to compliment when they still held the ignorant optimistic sparkle are still masked by intentionally low ambiance.
I spit out some toothpaste and look right back and straight ahead. No denying me anymore this day.
We won’t speak. Don’t need to when the other can hear thoughts. Besides, the look in those eyes tell me enough already.
He’s the man I want to be: Proud, successful, indifferent. I offer up my blatant insecurity.
I hate staring into those blue eyes that define me. We stare not knowing what to say, telepathically of course. I always feel as if he has a message for me. “Be you today!” Too bad he never informs me of whom the fuck I’m supposed to be.
We embrace…
I walk away with more questions and with fewer answers. Guess I’m going to have to pretend again today. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll be able to look across the mirror and tell myself that I know who I am. But he owns me, yet does nothing to improve his plight either.
We suffer together, the two sides of the one, in the easing darkness.
