Serotiny

Just remember

I hate myself more 

than y'all ever will

Or could

Should've misinterpreted 

syllables

I'm lonely

I don't see how

it correlates

But I suspect

most things are wrong

I expect

to be told differently

I engender sympathy

When I ask, invariably

[skip]

Why do I wake up?

Uncertain.

Look, maybe I 

will shape 

that thing unknown

the spring unexpected 

is growing

So, tired.

Tried to explain

entertaining 

expectations and

explored altruistic

vacating sensations

where words fall away

Where words today 

are unknown but

get written

anyway

Suppose their relevance

expose

sure, there it is

fantastic

things are

applicable

to a moment

hear

exponential

under

stand

ingress

simply

Here I am

years later

undeniably

denied the 

demise that 

I promised to me

the unexplained

things 

according 

to beliefs

that I tell

myself everyday

And yet

I survive

I write

no wrongs 

but those that I belong to 

A right

is left to explore

surety

that exists,

epidemic

and subsisting

on memories

fallacy 

supposedly 

I can say so many things

no, apparently

I am

me

or not

remembering

purpose

after the

fact is more 

easily expressed

less expected

than those words

that creep up

during the day

exciting me 

in a moment 

forgotten

like a 

goddamned

memory's

undetermined

impact

Like I need

like an analogy  

was supposed to be next

an apology 

for yesterday's parable 

is suddenly suspect

and I'm able

Coincidence

coincides with

condemnations

exciting

Lead [with] trying

to remember

that last time that I

surrendered more

than

I expected to

I don’t know

I never do

I don’t is

Exhausting

is expecting

Is explicit choosing

indifference specific enough?

This is shifting

Everything is enticing

Anything is

Things are

And stories go

But

Conversations forgotten 

are more important

Explanations: mean

I’m just one,

A type away…

She carefully treads

in a picture

Dichotomy

Lonely’d me again

Why are all the last best stories told

When we’re fucked up?

I don’t know

I’m scared

I suppose

I’m not too mad about it.

Fair exposition is

exponentially

exposed

Fail

Telling myself

’Great job, people saver.

With expectations explaining

favor misunderstood

and savoring bullshit.’

Entice something more

and apologize like I do

when writing in another

place.

I’m supposed to face

I save face

I have no fucking idea

how to do those things

How do you 

learn

how to be an asshole?

Why do you regret it,

especially,

when expectations

fuckin’ agree

that altruism denies

such easy possibilities?

Sincerity 

Is the succinct

when you wear it, and

where suspect is too normal

To formulate is the easy way

to expect

facilitations

expectations

suspect

explanations

unexplained

serenity

Subject's have...

I have a home now

and I'm not alone

because

my other selves are

with me

I have my flaws

lonely

the temporary

lovely

the explanatory

entice is

two times

thought less

about more things

exposing

and suddenly I suppose 

I do that

I'm empathic

emphatic

lead tragic

paradoxes

addicted to a

pain that I don't want

sadistic

a word

I'm want to flaunt

secretly

an adjective

always

describing how

aught to know better

sought an explanation

a rhyme without

passion

and only conversation

is consternation

closely

I be

come instrumental

lest the 

influential 

determine

moreso than

the expected

I have a home now

and I always have

despite

physicality

and so

I have my flaws

loneliness 

is the memory

and lovely

is